There are times when Zoey asked me this question ” Mommy, why are you always on your computer”, – sometimes i not sure how to explained to her except this “ Uncle boss need me to do something for him, thats why mommy working. Just like you, when you need to do your homework, teacher asked you to do right?” - just a very simple explanation. but to Zoey, i’m not sure whether she understand or not that we need to work to give the best for them.

Frankly speaking, i have always want to climb the corporate ladder and to enjoyed the recognition that I gained whenever i successfully done something. For me, it is the satisfaction that i’m looking at whenever i managed to finished something. yet this feeling for almost 2 years now that i did not even feel it. The only satisfaction that i had in this 2 years are the unconditional love that both my kids had for me.  the love that i gained from my kids are above all the unsatisfactorily that i felt on my career life. there are saying that – you need to sacrifice something before you could gain something else. i always believed in this saying.

I just hope that the decision that i going to make in this very near future, does benefit me and my family. although it may be difficult but i just hope that i could make  the right decision at the right time…

Thank goodness Chloe’s recovering process is fast. for these 2 days, she recovered quite fast although we can still hear some weezing sound when she breath but as long as she does not cough like the past few days, it is good already for us. Her appetite come back and kept on requesting for food. as she still need to be on stright diet, there are a lot of food we tried to avoid. We tried not to give her rice but porridge for her throat but she seems to prefer rice more than porridge. We have no choice but to give her rice but we still maintain the porridge menu.

As for Jie Jie, she recovered from her sickness and tomorrow, she will start school again. At first, I agreed to send her to the holiday camps @ her kindergarden but because of those viruses, my mom advise me not to sent her to the camp during the holiday. We will try to strengthen her body immute system before she start her schooling again in January.

I just hope that both of them recover from their sickness. Being a mom myself, sometimes I feel so guilty to see both of them sick especially Chloe. There are times where I blamed myself for this. If they are not borned prematurely, would their health like this? My SIL told me that this is just only a phase of life that I need to go through. Not counting the days or years, I managed to go through this phase for almost 4.5 years now and I just hope I will have the strength to move forward and be strong to handle all kind of situation.

For the past one weeks, I did not have a good night sleep at all. Worrying about the girls, waking up every hour to take temperature, and yet. I still have work to be done in the office. Now, all seems to settled down and yet, I can’t sleep at all…. I hope for a good night sleep tonight before I start a new day. new week and hope for all good thing to happen to me and my family….

It is not easy for me to put down my experience that i encountered while I in the hospital with Chloe.

The very first feeling that I have when I was told by hubby that Chloe situation is not good as the phlegm are thick and she having very loud weezy sound have suddenly make me so scare. Scare about Chloe condition and a lot more of question popped on my mind that moment. but seeing Chloe as normal as she is, she was drinking her milk when I reached DSH that thursday. She in fact asked me ” mommy, no work?” and I replied while hugging her ” mommy, no work today. Mommy love mei mei very much’” and she replied” love you mommy’… that moment, i feel so touched and feel so guilty why my lil baby need to go through this for the 3rd times.

While in the hospital, I was with her most of the times as my maid was also down with the virus and was going home together with my parents and Zoey. Hubby need to settled some of his outstanding work before he could come to the hospital. We have our times together and I realised that we seldom have our time much alone as most of the time Jie Jie will be with us. We talked to each other. suddenly i realised my lil baby are no longer a baby anymore. She indeed a 2 years old toddler with alot of why, what and how question. when we walked along the corridor, she will asked why baby cried, why baby’s hand like that, why baby sick and so on… In fact, the one day stayed in hospital, she attracted a lot attention from the nurses. Some of the nurses infact, remembered her as the moment we entered the ward, we was greeted my the nurse and the nurse, while taking chloe’s temperature asked her ” Chloe, why you are here again” and I was surprised when Mei Mei  answered this ” I’m sick”.

Although now Chloe recovered and need a lot more attention from us as we tried not to have the same virus attacked her again, i realised that I need to spent some our time with Chloe – just the 2 of us to get to know her much better. Doc told us that Chloe condition will get better when she reach 5 years old….

This is the 2nd times chloe admitted to hospital this year. While I writting this post,chloe are sleeping next to me in Damansara Specialist Hospital…

All atarted when Chloe cought the same bug from Zoey. On Tuesday, Chloe condition worsened and my parent took her to see her paed doc in DSH and was subscribed with some medication. Her cough still persistence and getting worse at night. As she was on medication, nothing much we can do except to monitored her condition throughout the night. as normal, I woke up like a zombie the next day and still goes to work on Wednesday. According to my mom, Chloe started to have Fever and just like jie jie coughing non stop until she complained that she had stomache. that night, situation getting worse. Chloe unable to sleep at all unless we carried her and I have not choice but to carry her sleep throughout the night. On thursday, she woke up with fever around 38.3 and Hubby took her to see her paed again. While I was in the office, I received a call from hubby that chloe need to be admitted as her condition according to her Paed Doc not good. I rushed over to hospital and was told that chloe have the same virus as jie jie and need to be on nebuliser around the clock every 4 hourly. Her condition much better yesterday although the fever come and go. she slept better… I hoping that we will get the green light to discharged today as I too started to have the symptom as both of them.

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While I writing this post, we are now back home after being allowed to discharged this afternoon. Chloe are much better now as compare to yesterday now. Lesser coughing and the weezing sound. Chloe was diagnosed with Weezy Bronchilitis just like the first time she was admitted to hospital last year. I just hope that she will recover very soon and healthy as usual… like she said to the people whose asked her how she feel – she asked ” better”….

Previously I liked Mid valley megamall very much and would do my shopping every weekend there with my then boyfriend now my hubby. We will sees a movie or sometimes 2 movies during the weekend when I actually off from my studies and then on weekend when we have nothing to do.

Since having 2 kids, I quite seldom will bring the kids there as firstly the place are crowded when it reached afternoon. you will sees ” people mountain people sea” during that time till night. Secondedly, I prefered to bring the kids to One Utama since it is nearer to my house- to be exact 10minutes drive from my house.

Yesterday everning, my mom called me whether to join them or not for a shopping spree with my preggie sister- to shop for her maternity cloth. I jumped on this opportunity since hubby is going on a  stay mode as it is a month end and he will not be able to spent some time with us this weekend. Both the girls are so happy when they came to know that we will be going out the next day.

We have our lunch with my parents, sister and my BIL at Tony ROmas and the girls enjoyed the food very much. Since it is weekend, and TOny ROmas does not offered “Kids eat for free” promotion, I ordered for the  Fish and fries from the adult menu since they are still having some cough – my mom said, when kids coughing, avoid chicken. I should have ordered from the kids menu instead of the adult menu as the portion is huge and the kids are unable to finished it.

It is quite a joyful outing for the kids and for me too, as I can do some shopping for hubby. Being a man, he does not like to do shopping unless it is necessary and now, with having me as his wife, I be the person in charge to buy him cloth and pants. Some people asked me how I know the measurement for his pants? I just to the measurement at home on his old pants and just buy the same measurement again for his pants. Easy and simple…

Weeks after weeks of sickness, Zoey down again with the flu and cough bug. For the past few weeks, both of them are on medication and when we finally sure that  they are getting better, Mei Mei was cought again with the bugs. She recovered just in time before the weekend but Zoey is the worse. All started on Friday night. She was coughing non stop for about 2 hours and me being alone at home as hubby need to be in the office for the month end process, was left with 2 zombie eyes the next day.

At first I thought of cancelling the plan to goes to Mid Valley with my sisters and parents on saturday but seeing the kids so happy the next day I was reluctant to dissappoint them. We go ahead with our plan with a bottle of fever medicine and the termometer in my handbag. Zoey does not want to eat at all eventhough we ordered her favourite foods.

That night she still coughing non stop and the fever bug attached her. At one point her fever reached 39.3 and me being the mom, searching high and low for the dispository to reduced her fever. When I put the medication in her butt, mei mei at the time woke up and saw I did to her sister’s butt asked me to do the same for her by showing off her pampers and said ” ah mi, I want Iwant”.. we told her that jie jie tummy got worm that why we need to put the medicine in her butt. Not sure she understand or not but she just walked away after hearing that. Maybe she scared of mr worm..

Then on sunday, the fever came and goes but at a lower range. Since we need to get the blue form from maxis and jie jie request for books, we took them to a quick shopping spree. nothing much we get except that we didnt knew that the maxis centre was actually closed down and moved to another place . we managed to get some activity book for Jie Jie and Colouring book for Chloe.

At night, both of them slept quite early and myself and hubby was so tired slept quite early but towards midnight when my alarm clock rang, I test Zoey’s temperature, her fever came back @ 38.3, quickly gave her the fever medication and asked her whether she want the jelly ( kool fever) when she complained she got headache. She refused saying it is too cool. From then, I woke up  every hour to check her temperature and noticed that it reduces and me. the mom, not sure why can’t sleep well although I know zoey is okay.

Again, this morning, no choice I need to  take emergency leave as seeing Zoey said to me this” mommy, no work today okay. stay here with me” and frankly speaking, after 3 nights without good night sleep, I feel so tired and my eyes really like panda bear. Zoey still having some slight fever and willing to take her milk this morning. I just she get better amd gain on her weight again …

Both Zoey and Chloe have a love and hate relationship since Chloe know the meaning of “friend”. Both of them could be such a loving baby – played with each other, kissing each other , can change to fighting with each other pulling each other hair and pitching each other hand and so on. yet they still missed each other when either one of them are not around.

Chloe will wait her sister goes to school before she took her morning nap. she want to see her sister goes to school and said bye bye to each other and seeing her sister walked into school before she agreed to take her nap in her sarong. Chloe took her morning nap around 830am for about 1-2 hours as she woke up around 600am as I need to get them ready to my mom house before I goes to work. so they are used to getting up quite early since they are babies…

They will played together like other kids when they liked and when they don’t like each other, they fight among themselves. I used to hear Chloe saying this to me ” ah mi, I don’t like jie jie”" or “; I no friend jie jie”. sometimes she said ” Jie Jie noaughty, take rotan beat jie jie” …all this was communicated by Chloe when she is angry with jie jie or fighting with jie jie.

As for Zoey, the most she do was showing her temper to her mei mei or screaming for help. She loves her sister very much and since young we told her that she cannot beat mei mei , must sayang mei mei. maybe because of this, she used to be the one who got beaten by her sister, be it pulling her hair, got bitten by her sister and so on.

… online..I having so much problem with maxis broadband till I so fed up with their service and decided to asked hubby to cancel the line once and forever. now I using Digi broadband which are much cheaper than my maxis package and the speed are slightly better than maxis. Hope this will last… some update on the girls what we do on our MIA mission..

For the past one week, the girls are still sick after a week long of sickness. Zoey and Chloe both cought the flu and cough bug and was on medication for almost 2 weeks and to make the matter worse, Zoey have contacted with the tummy upset on monday evening which force us to take her to DSH A&E dept that night. Throughout the night, she refused to take her milk and was only on 100 plus to avoid her from dehydrated. Her condition are getting worse early tuesday morning and hubby decided to take emeergency leave to bring her to see her Paed Doc – Dr Musa. Since I have my reporting deadlines the day itself, I have no choice to be in the office that day and hubby kept me update on Zoey conditions.

Thank goodness both of them getting better now although still having some slight flu and cough now and then.

There are many saying that a child is like a piece of white cloth the moment they are borned to this world. We as the parent need to lead them the good way so that the cloth are drawn with all the good values and not to be polluted with any bad values…

Before we have our kids, myself and hubby have set our agreement that no harsh word will be used should we have a disagreement and if can, not in front of the kids. till now, I can say is we managed to do it and normally if we do have our disagreement, we will not use english to conversed as Zoey and Chloe are english spoken kids and they can catch the words easily and normally we use cantonese in our day to day conversation as both of them are still not able to understand most of the words.

As a mother myself which grown up in a situation a number of harsh words being use as the day to day communication, I wish that my kids arenot  grown up in such situation just like what I have gone through. words like, binatang, sampah etc are banned from my home for my kids and normally we explained to Zoey that this is not a nice words to use and being a clever girl, you cannot use this word. I hope when she is big enough to read this journal, she knew why mommy is angry when she use the word.

  As for hubby, he grown up in a close knit family and although his parent are strict, he grown in a family where he learn the value of the meaning of “family”. I learnt alot of what is the meaning of a “family values” from hubby family. when there is problem, all the family member are helping each other to solve the problem instead of finger pointing who is the wrong parties.. I learnt this quote” whatever is happened is already happened, now it is time for us to see how we solve it” … this is the value that my grandma always thought.

I hope that the piece of cloth that are meant for my kids are drawn with happiness and good values in their life and the challenges that they face when they are a big girl…