It was a hectic weekend for our family. We are preparing for my third sister wedding on sunday and on saturday, we have dinner for our family and relative in my mom’s house. Our aunt from Raub have drove down to KL on saturday evening and due to them not familiar with KL’s road, hubby and I had went to Gombak toll to lead them to my mom’s house.

Everything start to become busy when relative and friend start to arrived as early as 630pm. My mom decided to ordered catering for 70 pax eventhough the total guest are around 50pax. With this, we have lots of leftover which we could’nt finished and we ended up with 2 fridges full of foods.

As for Zoey and Chloe, this wedding was the first wedding that they attended which relates to their yiyi. Zoey was playing around with her cousin while Chloe was very clingy throughout the dinner as she scared to see so many unfamiliar faces that day. She warm up almost at the end of the night.

As the dinner was ended quite late, we went back to our house around 11.00pm and one of my aunty stayed with me. We chit chating until almost 100am and we need to woke up around 430am as my BIL will pick my sister around 715am.

yesterday morning, while preparing to go to work, Zoey hurt herself after the photoframe that she hold fell onto her little toe which resulted her little bruised. At first she screamed and cried very loud and we went over to see her feet. We only saw her toe a little bit red and she cried and claimed pain pain…. we gave her honey star which she loves so much and told her not to cry and we went to my mom’s place before I went to work.

Then, at night, when we went to over to my mom’s hse and my mom told me that Zoey’s little toe have bruised and become blue black, immediately we took her to the nearest clinic and was told there was no cream for this. she need to edured the pain for the night and will be okay by today. Thank goodness she slept through the night…. mommy so sorry girl….

My sister’s wedding will be held this weekend….

Looking back to our childhood time, It was a happy moment for us. I remembered we being children at that time,we always think of what to do and show our naughtiness to our parents. I going to miss all our time as sister very much…

I was not involved in her wedding preparation at all as I was still mourning over my FIL… I’m allowed to attend her wedding and was told not to do anything for her.

All this indirectly gave some memories back to me when I was preparing for my own wedding. At that time, my job does not really gave me a higher income, everything I need to budget…. I still remember I have done a time table - half a year timetable and each cents of my salary was budgeted for. No extra at all at that time plus I want to move into my new house on the day I married, indirectly also contributing to my tight budget. Within 3 months, we need to prepared for our wedding, my new house and etc… Despite all this, it was an experience for me to deal with all this. something that I can never forget for my whole life…

When I looked at my sis, I know that she will lead another phase of life. Something that was very very different from before you’re married. Living with someone with a 100% different lifestyle will be quite challenging and alot of toleration need to be made.

After 3years and moving to 4 years of married life now, what I would said is that we gone through the hard time and life will never be smoothly as you want it to be. me and hubby have gone through alot since our wedding and we have our ups and downs in our life. We have to endured alot from both our parents, our girls – both of them are borned prematurely ( the life looking at your girl – Zoey in the incubator with all the tube over her body ), you will knew that it is not easy for you to go though this. hubby gave me a lot of support and finally we gone through the hard time and now both our girls are healthy and very cheeky. Sometimes you feel grateful and satisfied with what HE gaves us…

to my sister…

Sis,

you;re are to lead a new phase of your life, Once you’re a wife you are soon be a mother to your children. Do enjoyed your life and please a word ” TOLERENCE’” are very useful to us. Please do open up yourself to your hubby and be yourself. If you’re not happy said out loud and there is always a way to solve a problem. You will have your ups and downs in your life. Just be yourself and be happy in what you decided to do ….

your eldest sis….

There are some conversation that I thought I should jot down for my lil girl to read when she is old enough to read all this post in this website:

Me : Zoey, we go to Chee Fung’s kor kor house today, okay?

Zoey : Okay,

Me : Zoey, we see mah-mah too, okay?

Zoey : No Mah Mah, No ( not) going …

Me : Why you don’t want to see mah-mah?

Zoey : pain pain ( showing me her pointer)

This is how her reaction is when I told her to see her mah mah ( paternal grandmother)… I not so sure why she scared of her mah-mah. Whenever she at her grandma house, she will always utter ” no a-mah, no a-mah ” eventhough her mah mah never touch her, I have tried to “brainwash” her like saying “amah buy this for you so you must said thank you and sayang amah”. she will said thank you to her mah mah but never want to sayang her grandmother.

Evernthought she always utter ” no amah “, she never refuse to called her mah mah when she saw her. but whenever her mah mah extend her hand to grab Zoey’s hand or to sayang her, she will utter again : no amah”… She will said “sayang amah” when we asked her to do but still refused to give her amah a kiss. need to asked hubby for help on this….

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Me:Zoey, you sleep okay! tomorrow mommy bring zoey to market. Do you want to go?

Zoey : yes mommy.

Me : Then you closed you eyes now… mommy sleep next to you…

Zoey: mommy buy books, buy cards buy bean ….

Me : Okay.. sleep now…

Zoey: Night night mommy….

Me: Night night girl girl..

Then we will give each other a kiss and zoey will turn and turn and slept….

I loves this moments very much… We spent our night talk before we slept. She will asked me to buy her books ( her favourite) and Bean ( her favourite cartoon) every night before she slept…

Before being a mom myself,

• I scared of poo
• I loves to sleep through the night
• I scared of little baby crying at night
• I loves to played with kids

When I become a mom myself,

• I scared if my girls not pooing
• I loves to wake up at night and look at my lil girl’s sleeping
• I loves to see my girls smiling when they woke up in the morning
• I loves when they call me “: mommy…”
• I loves them so much for all the thing that they do and done…

There are alot more that I loves being a mom.

I understand know the sacrifice a mom need to make for their child. Me being a child before have never ever thought that being mom could be so challenging. You are worry all the times…yes I admit I very worry about the development of my girls… I worry if they are not pooing well.. I worry if they are sick… I worry whether they will catch flu if playing too much..I worry if they cried at night  and so on…

What I can said being a mom is not easy… but to see your girls growing healthy and happy in front of you, you knew that you will never regret to become a mother…..

I still remembered the day … 20th May 2007, the day where my popo left us forever. me being pregnant at that time, are not able to see her in the hospital and still remembered the last night where I was there to see for the last time.. (deep down on my heart I knew I seeing her for the last time)..

the last conversation that I had with her was on 28th April 2007, I still remembered her advice to me… ” take care of yourself, take care of Zoey and your baby”… That was the last sentence that she spoke to me. I miss you alot, popo….

Life have been different to me now without her in my life. I no longer have someone that I could talk to… I missed all the conversation that I have with her and her advice to me. She is the only person that I can talked to without any barrier between us…. She understand me very well.

Looking back on the the album that I have, I missed her so much but I knew she is watching us and taking care of us from the other world. I want her to know the following:

Popo, I missed you so much. I remembered all your advice for me. I want you to know that hubby ,my 2 lovely girl and me are happy with our life now. I just feel very fulfilled and content with love in my life. Dont worry about us… I missed you so much….

Love: your granddaughter….

Yup, Zoey loves to watch Mr Bean very much… She have her bedsheet, her pillow case, her bag and her toy – mr teddy all from mr bean. She called the teddy – beanie and will sit still to watch the cartoon until finished everytime the disney channel have the show. Now, she demanded for mr bean’s dvd and will sit and watch the whole dvd until finished. Sometime this show last for more than 2 hours….

When I was pregnant with Chloe, I always scared that I will not able to give my love equally to my girls. However, after Chloe was borned I realised being a mom, automatically you will be able to share your love between both your girls… same with Zoey. When Chloe was borned, she does not like to share thing with her sister. Whenever Chloe demanded her toy, she will grab and ran away. Now, as time passed, Zoey have accepted her sister into her life. She knew that mommy and daddy loves her as much as before and being a big sister now, she will cried whenever we scolded Chloe and even we said Chloe naughty. we can see how protective Zoey is for her sister Chloe….

When I was small, according to my mom, I seldom want to choose my own clothes. I will wear whatever my mom want me to wear on that occassion. now myself being a mom, I never thought that my lil girl would asked me to change her clothing to something that she choose from. How time change…. previously we never said NO to our mother and will follow whatever instruction given by our parent and now our girl will tell us what she like and dislikes….