Sometimes I wonder why a little child have to endured so much and yet before she could enjoyed her life, she need to go through the tragic way and she endured this for the last 15 years before she passed away last saturday.

The child that I meant was my niece – Gan Kai Yi ( my 2nd BIL’s only daughter). Frankly speaking, I did not have spent much time with Kai Yi. Throughout my courtship and marriage to hubby, we only sees Kai Yi during CNY or Dinner’s gathering among the family. I’m not going to write much here due to respect to my BIL’s family, but this post purpose was to remind myself that we need to treasure the time that we have for our family and never take thing for granted.

When I looked back into my life being a mother myself, I can understand the sadness felt by my SIL and BIL. The feeling that no ones can understand…

With all this thing that had happened in my life for the past 3 months, sometimes the feeling that I have to endured after Zoey and Chloe was borned have come back to haunt me. I still remember the feeling of angry, sadness and regretfulness all came into me when both of them was born especially when Zoey was borned. I still remember how zoey need to be left alone in the incubator all by herself while others baby at the same age already safely in their parent cuddle, how she need to endured all the examination and all the needle poked into her tiny leg and arm. All this had make me realised that nothing is much more important that your family and your child. From there onwards make me realised one thing – yes you can have the praised and awarded with all the money values to lead a very comfortable life but one thing you got to lose was your time with your family. Money is important but it cannot buy back your time with your family. once you lost it, you can never get it back.

Because of this, I decided to stayed at where I am now no matter how much encouragement that I get from hubby and my parent. I know with the qualification that I have and the experienced that I had, I can just ended with a high flyer job in the market. But I choose to stayed where I am now and I can lead my life the way I want. Something that hubby will never understand why I did that.